In Job 37 verses 23 & 24 Elihu says, speaking of God :
23…..He does not oppress.
24 Therefore men fear Him;
Sometimes we misunderstand fearing God and view it as a dark, terrified position we are to take before God, one that would be a response to God oppressing us and dealing with us harshly.
Of course if God did do that, we would fear Him but not in the sense He wants us to. We would purely be afraid of Him, wondering what heavy handed thing He is going to do to us next.
But these verses say, God does not oppress. He deals with us reasonably, fairly and patiently. He deals with us gently, reflected in David’s words in 2 Samuel 22:36 “Your gentleness has made me great”.
It’s the fact God does not oppress us, or treat us unreasonably and is gentle with us that causes us to fear God, in the right way. When someone treats us like that it brings out the best in us and we thrive. We respect and in God’s case reverence Him even more, hold Him in even higher esteem. We value His influence and control in our life, and make them a higher priority.
Those are some of the elements of a healthy fear of God and with that we are drawn to Him, to obey Him, surrender to Him and follow Him, not cower from Him.
That’s the fear God’s looking for.