In our society there is a lot of superficial communication. Changes in the way we communicate with the use of technology, leading to less face to face communication, predisposes us to more and more superficial communication.
I think in life we owe it one another to communicate beyond the superficial. To draw one another out, otherwise how will we know each other ?
Proverbs 20:5 speaks to this. It says:
5 Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water,
But a man of understanding will draw it out.
“Counsel in the heart of man” speaks to me of a person’s true, inner most thoughts, feelings, opinions and values. It speaks of who they really are. Everyone has “counsel” in their heart and if we are to know one another we need to draw out this “counsel”. We’re told in this proverb it is like “deep water”. In other words it is not drawn out through quick, superficial conversations over cell phones and the internet.
The Proverb goes on to say that a man of understanding draws it out. Drawing out the counsel in some one’s heart takes skill and wisdom. It involves something we thought about two days ago, listening. Listening in a way that communicates respect, caring, honour.
Drawing out the counsel of someone’s heart is like landing a fish that’s fighting on the end of a line. It requires a skilled combination of giving the fish freedom and “reeling it in” when it gives you the chance.
For people to share the ” deep water ” within them we must give them freedom, create a safe, secure environment where they don’t feel threatened so they are free to open up and at the same time “reel them in” through the attention we give them and the interest we show.
It’s only when we do this that we communicate that we really care. When we take the time and effort to draw who we really are out of one another, draw the “deep water” out of one another.